I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
