kristin has been a bad kristin
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
