didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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