I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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