do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
