I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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