we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
