Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
