I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
