"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
