Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
