when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
