you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
