I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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