Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
