so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize