dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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