Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize