Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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