sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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