I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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