I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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