In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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