You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
