I am puke
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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