Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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