There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
