she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize