I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
