I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
