I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
