im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
