saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
