in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
