The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
