Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
