My nipple is on Facebook.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
