Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There r osticjed everywhere
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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