Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
