She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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