when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
