Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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