I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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