Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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