And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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