if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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