Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
