No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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