So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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