I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
