guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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