god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.