Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its my greatest physical accomplishment

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  (248): I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor (248): Its my greatest physical accomplishment http://tfl.nu/iulb
  Replies (3) Good night (1387) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?

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  (706): Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings? http://tfl.nu/0565
  Replies (28) Good night (3102) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.

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  (240): I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged. http://tfl.nu/1zhu
  Replies (9) Good night (3407) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.

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  (847): He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that. http://tfl.nu/228l
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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  (864): If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/qg7h
  Replies (11) Good night (2436) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?

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  (916): It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/y550
  Replies (2) Good night (1008) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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  (651): Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD? http://tfl.nu/tnlb
  Replies (7) Good night (1543) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.

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  (215): I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that. http://tfl.nu/2qs0
  Replies (1) Good night (1314) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.

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  (520): She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup. http://tfl.nu/0yof
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.

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  (780): Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house. http://tfl.nu/7s2y
  Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I ate the most amazing corn dog today.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I will probably dream about it.

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  (517): I ate the most amazing corn dog today. (517): I will probably dream about it. http://tfl.nu/pmjz
  Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

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  (608): Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated. http://tfl.nu/bowh
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.

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  (704): I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun. http://tfl.nu/zwea
  Replies (0) Good night (240) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there

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  (440): For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there http://tfl.nu/aljy
  Replies (0) Good night (224) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.

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  (320): If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot. http://tfl.nu/mrn3
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (428)

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