The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018