Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.