listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.