oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
