I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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