I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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