brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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